The Mystery of Peak Productivity-- The Energizer Dissertator

Hmmm, a close friend named Fab sent me this link today. http://www.phdcomics.com/comics.php?f=1219   Considering I have known this friend since we have been 7 years old, I wonder if she is trying to tell me something. After all, she might know me better than I know myself. Hmmmm. The cartoon shows that peak productivity for a PhD student is around 2am. This is very scary to me since I suffer insmonia if I go off my normal sleeping schedule. So there will be no 2am researching/writing sessions for me. And since I'm a long term thinker I know that in the long run 2am writing spasms will kill me. And I really do need to be breathing in order to dissertate. So no 2am productive moments for me.


I think this cartoon represents procrastination. And procrastination for me is really a disguise for all out fear with a capital F! What is interesting is that I have never had a procrastination problem until now. But you know what, I am not going to think about this today. Maybe I'll think about it next week, or the week after. What I will think about is how I know that I am being too hard on myself. I had good reason for waiting until now to start the dissertation process. This past year was full of emotional upheavel that left me feeling blank in the mind, heart, soul, and body. I am now ressurecting myself. The skip has crept back into my step. I actually have moments when I visualize the Engergizer Bunny sitting at a desk dissertating. "I am MAM the Energizer Dissertator!" "I am MAM the Energizer Dissertator!" "I am MAM the Energizer Dissertator!" Everyone, repeat after me, "She is MAM the Energizer Dissertator!"


I have 4 years left to complete this dissertation. One thing I have is patience. If I spent eight years off my feet recovering from my car accident and did not lose my mind, then these dissertating blues will not wear me down. I am strong. I am woman. Hear me roar! Oh my, does anyone else remember that Helen Reddy song? I can feel myself sitting in my bedroom looking at that bright blue LP cover, and singing along with Helen-- "I am woman. Hear me Roar". Fab was probably with me. This now brings upon me another worry. If I can so vividly recall that song's impact on my young life, (and the color of the LP cover) I'm too OLD to be dissertating. Pre-menopausal women should not even be allowed to dissertate. What is wrong with IUP that they let a pre-menopausal woman into their program? Don't they know I cannot remember stuff? Crucial stuff like authors names, page numbers, and where I last left my laptop? UGH. This is all so wrong. But enough of this jabberwocky. I'll think about it later.

Peace, MAM :)